Hurricane Diarrhea #37

Her life was much too dramatic, Taeyeon decided. She’d barely gotten away with the slip of tongue last night and this morning had been a close call as well. It was all thanks to her quick thinking and sheer tactical mind that she came up with the brilliant plan to flaunt her pink panties in Tiffany’s face and hope for the best. It seemed to have worked for she got away with barely a scratch and she looked forward to having a relatively peaceful day. But. But. But. Life was full of buts. The wrong kind of buts. She could do with more butts. Not buts.

Shit.

Anyways, her hopes for a calm day were dashed when Yuri sailed into the lecture theatre and flashed a glow-in-the-dark smile. Something was up. The question was ‘what’.

“Guess what, Taengoo!”

“What.”

“Jessica asked me out!”

“Wow.”

“Yes wow. More than wow. Bow wow wow that’s what it is!”

“You’re not a pupp, Yuri.”

“I’m a…slaaave…for you…” sang Yuri and Taeyeon knew her friend was a lost cause.

“Shh…the lecture’s starting,” said Seohyun and for the first time, Taeyeon was glad. Maybe she could get some peace and quiet now. But. Argh. Yuri kicked her leg and shoved a piece of paper to her.

I need $$

so?

you took my $10
I want it back

it’s gone

idc $10 gimme

i’m broke

pleaseee

no

pleaseee

no

are u my friend

no

Taeyeon sensed it coming and tried to pull her legs up and out of Yuri’s reach but she was a fraction of a second too late. “OWW!”

“Is something wrong over there?” asked the lecturer and Taeyeon wanted nothing more than to hide her face from the curious stares around her. Kwon Yu Ri!!!

“Er…no. Nothing’s wrong.”

“Perhaps you’d like to focus on this lecture instead of other things.”

Taeyeon burned red as she rubbed her shin and Yuri snickered over her misfortune.

Shit.

~

“Lend me some money, please please please please.”

Taeyeon ignored Yuri and walked out of the lecture theatre with Yuri trailing behind her.

“Yuri unnie, I’ll lend you the money,” said Seohyun and Yuri turned to her in delight.

“Really? Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“How much do you need?”

“Twenty.”

“Okay.”

Taeyeon watched as Seohyun lent Yuri twenty dollars and shook her head. All she wanted was some peace and quiet. And food.

“Thanks! You just saved my life!” Yuri gave Seohyun a bear hug and squashed the poor girl.

Taeyeon could only shake her head again, this time, at herself. Twenty dollars. She didn’t even have twenty cents after buying those panties. That was how ‘rich’ she was. Panty rich.

Shit.

~

She got home and laid on her bed. Sunny wasn’t home yet so the apartment was quiet. At last, some peace and quiet. Mmm…maybe she could take a nap before going over to Tiffany’s. Yeah.

~

“Byuntaeyeon!” The shrill voice rang in her ear and she groaned, peering through eyelids that had no wish to open fully. “Why are there so many panties in your bag?”

Her eyes opened wide and she blinked. What? Panties? Sunny saw the panties? “W-What are you talking about?”

“This.” Sunny dumped a bagful of panties on her head and laughed as she was buried under them. “Have you upgraded to become a panty pervert for the sake of your girlfriend?”

“Tiffany is not a panty pervert.” Taeyeon swept the panties off her face and threw a glare at Sunny. “She just…likes them…that’s all.”

“Is this why you’ve been eating nothing but bread for the past few days? You went and spent all your money on panties?”

“T-There was a sale. It made sense to buy more,” Taeyeon defended herself. Sunny rapped her head and sat on the bed beside her.

“Silly girl. You should’ve told me. I would’ve lent you money if you asked.”

“You would’ve asked me why and I would’ve had to tell you about the panties.”

“And what difference would it have made? I know all about it now.”

Taeyeon groaned. “I know, I know.” Just then, her stomach growled and she palmed it, biting her lip from the embarrassment as Sunny giggled.

“Come on, I’ll buy you dinner.” Taeyeon perked up at Sunny’s words but (shit, there was that word again) it wasn’t all she had to say. “But you’ll do my share of the chores this week.”

“I’ll do your chores, if you buy me dinner for the whole week.”

“Deal.”

Taeyeon grinned. Sometimes, it paid off to live with a richer but lazier friend like Sunny.

~

“So have you worn the sexy ones yet?” Sunny asked in a hushed whisper and Taeyeon knew right then, that she had made the right decision to keep it a secret from her. Even though she found out in the end.

She took a piece of beef from the grill and stuffed it into her mouth before answering, “No.”

Sunny gave her a sly look and grinned. “Never figured you to be into sexy panties.”

“Sunny!” Taeyeon squeaked in a loud whisper and looked around them furtively. They were surrounded by people, eating and chatting. Fortunately, no one seemed to have overheard Sunny.

“Oh, relax. No one’s listening to our conversation. They’re all too busy with their own.” She popped a mushroom and chewed on it, the sly grin making its appearance yet again. “Sexy panties,” she giggled, “Does Tiffany know that all your panties are Disney cartoons?”

“Spongebob isn’t Disney, stupid.”

“It doesn’t matter, pervert.”

“Stop calling me a pervert.”

“But you are a pervert.”

“I’m gonna fling this beef in your eye if you don’t stop it.”

“I’ll tell Tiffany about your Disney panties if you do it.”

Taeyeon stuck her tongue out at Sunny. “I’m not afraid.”

“Oh…so she does know about your Disney panties. And I’ll bet…she likes them too.”

Taeyeon blushed and Sunny burst into peals of laughter. “Shut up, Sunny.” Oh great. People were looking at them now. Why was she surrounded by friends like Sunny and Yuri? It was definitely time to look for new friends.

Shit.

~

She patted her stomach and burped. Sunny made a face but she didn’t care. Good friends like Sunny could deal with a burp or two, right? Right. Besides, she was the queen and a queen’s burp was a rarity. Sunny was lucky to witness a queen burping. So right.

“Taeyeon, are you alright?”

Huh. Of course I’m alright. I’m the queen. The royal shit. Taeyeon smiled. And burped again. “Totally right. I’m totally right.”

“Oh shit. How many bowls of this rice wine did you drink?”

How many? Mmm… Four? Five? Six? She held her fingers up and Sunny groaned. Why was Sunny groaning? Relax, the queen was here.

~

Argh. My head. Arghghghgh.

Taeyeon opened her eyes with great difficulty and squinted in the darkness. She could hear soft breathing beside her. Who was that? Was it Sunny? She turned and found herself staring right into Tiffany’s serene expression. What?

But she didn’t have time to stop and admire Tiffany’s beauty. No. Her stomach was warring for her attention in the worst way possible and the all-too-familiar urge to release a bubble of gas was knocking urgently on her back door. All she had to do was let it go. Gently. Let…it…go…opps. Shit. It wasn’t just air that was let go. Oh no. Oh no, no, no.

Shit!

~

4 thoughts on “Hurricane Diarrhea #37

  1. Hi can you send me the passwords for this amazingly mood boosting fanfiction that keeps me out of my depression? 🙌😊😊😊

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