With a butt-solid proposal, I am practically guaranteed success in my mission. But what is the use of having such a kickass proposal if Tiffany is never going to see it? Yes, you guessed it right, my dear butt loving friends. Tiffany is now utterly convinced that I’m a pervert and refuses to come anywhere near me. And I heard that she’s more than ready to file for a restraining order if I don’t leave her alone. So now the question is this: how do I get Tiffany to give me a chance to present my proposal if she’s never going to see me?
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that there really is nobody else I can turn to but her. Yeah. Time to strike another deal with the devil herself. Sunny.
“I really, really need your help.”
“Just because I offered you my butt doesn’t mean I’m willing to risk my friendship with Tiffany again. Especially with a klutz like you. You’ll probably bungle up whatever the plan you plan on carrying out and where does that leave me?” Sunny’s eyebrows rise higher than she ever will reach as she lectures me.
“Hanging?” I chance a guess.
“Hanging. Yeah. She’ll leave me hanging off a feeble branch of a tree with a fire-breathing dragon snapping at my dangling legs. That’s what she’ll do if I betray her again.”
“Would a few cups of ice cream make you feel better after that?”
Sunny shook her head. “No.”
The infamous black cloud of defeat hangs over my head. Is there no hope left for my mission?
The cloud of defeat vanishes in a poof and a sparkly rainbow appears in its place. “But…?”
“Butt rubs might make me feel better.”
“Uh huh. And make it exclusive. Just you and me. Alone. In your room.”
I am willing to swear on my precious magical hands that Sunny is giving me the I-want-you-and-not-in-an-innocent-way look right now. So what’s a girl to do when another girl is giving her a look like that? It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.
Now, with Tiffany’s best friend on my side once more, I am ready to take on the world. Well, Tiffany’s butt at least. All that’s left to do…is to get a suitable venue to present my proposal. Well, any classroom in school should suffice. I just have to make sure the coast is clear when it’s time to make my pitch. But that’s not a problem. Not when I have awesome friendly towers to rely on.
“So what do you need us to do?”
“Clear the coast.”
Yuri grins and nods. “Consider it done. Where and when do you want clearance?”
“I’ll get back to you on the time. But location wise, I was thinking the Physical Education room.”
Sooyoung splutters on her juice. “D-Don’t you think it’s a little sleazy to present your proposal in there?”
“Well, it’s related to Physical Education if you think about it. It’s a pretty appropriate setting for the subject we’re on. Plus, there are mattresses in there. It’ll come in pretty handy for my hands-on demonstration.”
“Wow, you sure are ambitious.”
“If you’re going to aim, go for the highest star. That way, there’ll be other stars to catch you if you fall short.”
Sooyoung chuckles. “Falling short is not a problem for us tall people. Just you, shorty pants.”
“Why, thank you, dearest Sooyoung, whose only problem in life is walking into signboards and knocking yourself blind. Who was the one who brought the ice in your hour of need, huh?”
Sooyoung flashes a wide grin. “You know I love you.”
“I know you do. And that’s why you’re gonna be my chauffeur.”
Sooyoung blinks, gaping. Even Yuri gasps.
“You’re the only one with an extra car you can drive.”
“And you would need a car and a chauffeur to…”
“Drive me and Tiffany to my place after she agrees to my proposal. I want to deliver the experience with style.”
At which point Sooyoung turns to Yuri and shakes her head. “Your friend has finally lost her perverted mind.”
Things are a-rollin’ and going pretty smoothly. Yuri has come through for me and I have the Physical Education room all to myself. Sunny too, has managed to persuade Tiffany to give me one more chance to pitch my proposal to her. I don’t know how she did it and she won’t tell me but I’m guessing it took a lot of effort. I’ll definitely do my best for her butt rub because she deserves it!
So here I am, standing by my tablet, which is hooked up to the projector. The words ‘MISSION GLUTEUS MAXIMUS’ are painted across the screen in bold, business-like font. I hope it sends the right message across, that I’m as serious about this as I am about my finals. In fact, with the amount of resources and favours I had pulled for this, I would safely say that I am treating this way more seriously than my finals.
A shadow falls across the door to the room and I straighten my back in suspense. It’s Tiffany. Oh my dear butt-loving soul, it’s Tiffany and her butt.
“Hi,” I say as naturally as I possibly can.
“Hi.” Tiffany takes a few steps into the room and stills. She looks at me, no doubt taking in my new look. (Sooyoung had persuaded me out of my comfy sweat pants and coaxed me into a pair of vintage jeans that has been in my closet since the beginning of time, thereby making it a legit vintage piece.) “You…you look different.” She blinks, then adds, “Better…than the last time.”
I look down at myself. Do I really look better? It’s a wonder what a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt can do for one’s appearance, huh. “Er…thanks, I guess.” I run my fingers through my hair as I clear my throat. “But, in what way do I look better?”
Tiffany looks stunned. Is my question weird?
“Uh, you don’t have to answer it if you—”
“You just look better. Cleaned up. This look suits you.”
Tiffany nods. “Mhm.”
Okay. What is this awkward pressure in my chest? What’s happening? I clear my throat again. “Would you like to take a seat? Front row is available.”
Tiffany smiles and walks to the chairs up front. She puts her bag on a chair and is about to sit when she turns and walks towards me instead. It’s my turn to be stunned when she extends her hand to me. “No hard feelings?” she says.
My brain kicks back into action just in time to instruct my hand to grasp hers. We shake hands and I say, “No hard feelings. None at all. Not even a little bit. I’m just glad you’re willing to listen to my proposal.” Smooth, Taeyeon. That did not make you sound like a babbling desperado at all. No, it didn’t.
“Okay.” Tiffany smiled. “Right. Your proposal.” She took a seat in the front row and looked up at me expectantly. “I’m listening.”
Alright. This is it. It’s touch or let go, Taeyeon. Do it, do it, do it!
I take a deep breath and smile. Here goes nothing.
Moments later, my heart is beating so hard that my bones are rattling. My presentation is done. All points have been presented. All the pros. All the benefits. There are no cons. None. That’s the way it is. Would anyone reject a proposal this good? Most people wouldn’t. But Tiffany isn’t most people. Tiffany is the queen of the glorious butts and the silence she is giving me is nerve wrecking.
“So, uh…what do you think?”
Tiffany purses her lips.
“If you’re agreeable, I have arranged for a ride to bring us to my place. We’ll be there in no time.”
“You mentioned a hands-on demonstration.”
“Yes. Yes, I did.”
Tiffany lifts her finger from her lips and nods. “I would like to see a demonstration before making my decision.”
I spring into action immediately. “If you would lie on this mattress here, I can give you a quick demonstration.”
Tiffany stands and walks to the mattress. She looks at me long and hard before looking at the mattress again. “Do I have to take anything off?”
“No,” I say. “You can keep your clothes on.”
“Okay.” Tiffany lies flat on her stomach. “Demonstrate.”