“I’m really feeling it right now,” says Taeyeon as she shrugs off her shirt. But her dearest dearie is not looking as enthusiastic right now. “Honey? Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Not tonight, honey. I have a headache.”

Taeyeon halts in her strip-not-a-tease and frowns. “Again?”

Tiffany the Honey groans. Then she palms her face. And groans again.

“Step one, two and three. Next, you’re gonna pout and worm your way out of this.” Taeyeon sighs and tugs her tank top out of her denim shorts. “Fany honey, you can’t fool me anymore.”

“But I really have a headache.”

“And I really have a million dollars.”

Tiffany the Honey lowers her hand and blinks. “But you do have a million dollars. You made more than that in the past six months.”

“It’s—it’s a figure of speech, okay. I meant it like—argh. Yeah, fine. I have a million dollars but you don’t really have a headache.”

“I do. I swear I do.”

“You were laughing at my pigtails just a minute ago.”

“The headache comes on without warning. It just came.”

“Well, at least the headache is getting some happy.”


“Uh, uh. Forget it. If you don’t wanna do it tonight, we won’t. I’ll deal with it on my own.”

Tiffany pouts. Darn it. Step four. “But I don’t want you to do it by yourself.”

“Well, you’re not willing to do it with me tonight but I’m really feeling it. I’m hanging by a thread here, honey.”

“What if I just do you.”

“You know I don’t like the one-way street. Besides, don’t you have a headache?”

“I can still do you with a headache. I could probably do you in my sleep too.”

“That doesn’t sound very . . . flattering.”

“I’m just saying. I know you.”

“Then you should know I like it to go both ways.”

“It doesn’t always have to be a two-way street.”

“Why can’t it be a two-way street every time.”

“Just tonight. One night. One way.”


“Then you’re not allow to do it by yourself either.”

Taeyeon is up to her neck in tolerance. “Honey, I really, really, reeeaallyy need to—”

“But I said I will do you.”

“But I want to do you back!”

Tiffany rises to her feet, meeting Taeyeon’s eyes from a slight vantage. “Why do you have to be so stubborn!”

“I could say the exact same thing back at you!”

“I just can’t deal with what you do to me tonight, okay!”

“Why not!”

“Because you’ve been doing it weird lately!”

“What weird!”

“This weird!” Tiffany yells, wriggling her index and middle finger in Taeyeon’s face.

“What’s weird about that!”

“It’s like you’re digging for money or something when you do that!” Tiffany’s voice is deafening Taeyeon by now. “And it’s just too weird!”

“But they said it’s a great technique!”

“What? This?” Tiffany does the dual-finger-cycling motion again. “How is that a technique!”

“It is!”

“Says who!”

“Says our next door neighbour!”

Tiffany’s eyes widen into scary balls of eye-whites. “YOU’VE BEEN TALKING TO OUR NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR ABOUT FINGERING TECHNIQUES?”




“Oh my gosh.” Tiffany slumps onto the bed behind her. “Now I really have a headache.”

“You could’ve just told me it was weird for you, you know.”

“You were so proud of it each time you did it. You would look at me like a gold medallist receiving their medal at the Olympics.”

“That’s only because I thought you liked it.”

“It’s weird. Like you’re digging in your pocket for coins. I don’t know why but it doesn’t work for me.”

“Fine. I’ll stop doing it. I’ll find another technique.”

Tiffany smiles. “But you don’t need any technique, honey. You’ve always done really well, before you picked up that technique.”

“I don’t want things to get boring between us. I wanna keep it fresh and up-to-date.”

“Well, maybe you can try talking dirty to me.”

Taeyeon brightens up immediately. “You like that?”

“Yeah, you called me a bitch once and I really liked it.”

“Oh honey bitchy honey peaches.”

“Okay, not . . . not like that.”

Taeyeon grins. “Are you wearing pants right now?”

Tiffany flashes a sultry smile. “I don’t think so, honey.”

Taeyeon yanks up Tiffany the Honey’s loose grey top and her grin almost reaches her left ear. “Yasssbitch!”

“Oh my gosh, honey that is so hot.”

A push sends Tiffany the Honey onto her back on the bed. “YasssBITCH!”


And so Taeyeon didn’t have to deal with it by herself and Tiffany the Honey didn’t have a headache after all.


inspired by this fanedit by pakjanee:


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